People who live in glass houses, etc.

This blog has not only resulted in my dispensing a lot of dating advice, it has led me to read up on the subject quite a bit. I did something similar the last time I was job hunting — I read all the career blogs and articles I could find, and some gave pretty radical advice. When I interviewed for my current job, I was so well-prepared that my boss later told me how stellar my interview was.

I also job hunted for 11 months before reaching that point. There’s no amount of reading that could bring you the job openings. They just tell you what to do once you’ve found them. Dating’s a lot like job hunting, so my hope is that when I find a good guy, all of my research will help me not screw things up.

When you read and write about dating, and your friends come to you often for advice, you tend to get a bit judgmental. You notice what other people do wrong: The guy who slouches and looks shy, the girl who shares way too much information about her ex boyfriend to the guy she just met, the guy who talks to a girl for and hour at a party but doesn’t ask for her number, the girl who thinks she should do the chasing because she hasn’t heard from a guy in two weeks. People make a lot of mistakes, and I see them doing it and it makes me feel better about myself, because I can pinpoint these things. In a similar situation, I tell myself, I would know better.

Yet I’m still single. And people I know who make mistakes are being asked out on dates. I asked myself this the other day: What am I doing wrong? I can’t blame the guys I meet, as I’m the common denominator. What am I doing, or not doing, when I meet a guy that results in either him not asking for my number, or him taking my number but never calling it? There’s a disconnect somewhere.

Back to the job hunting metaphor, my uncle taught me this when I was still looking: The resume is to get you an interview, and an interview is to get you the job. If you’re sending out resumes but not getting interviews, there’s an issue with your resume. If you’re getting interviews but not job offers, you’re doing something in the interview to push them toward choosing another candidate. So, break the process down to see which part you need to improve.

As for me and dating, I’m getting stuck on two parts: 1) Meeting guys in the first place and 2) getting them to ask me out, and actually follow through. For now, I’m accepting pretty much every invitation I receive (you can’t meet someone when you’re home watching a movie, after all). I’m also trying to be less judgmental about other people’s mistakes. They might be making a few, but they’re out there, dating. That’s more than I can say about myself lately.