Archive for March 19th, 2008

A great way to meet people is through other people.  Much like asking a friend about a job opening at their company, getting inside information about a potential date is key.  Women in particular enjoy helping friends out in this regard.  We don’t find it intrusive or strange if you ask us for the phone number of our cute friend.  We love it.  It makes you look adorably vulnerable, and we’ll tell our friends as such.

It’s not hard to turn a female friend into a yenta, and I mean this in the Fiddler on the Roof matchmaker sense, not the gossipy old hag sense.  How do you do it?  Just ask if her friend is single.  Alarms will immediately go off in her head, and she’ll give you the girl’s number and then nag until you call.  The girl will likely be advised of the imminent date offer.  Note that the yenta sense is strong, and you probably won’t get a number if she doesn’t think the girl would be interested, or if she thinks it wouldn’t be a good match.  Think of the yenta as your dating resource: Friend, negotiator and gatekeeper.

That being said, I’ll address the topic of follow-through.  There are two vital components to this:
1. Yenta follow-through.  Yentas, take your single friend’s desire to find a solid relationship seriously.  Set them up with quality people.  Don’t make empty promises about “having the perfect person for them” if you’re not going to go all the way.  If you know of someone good for your friend, and your friend seems receptive to the idea, try and set them up.  Then it’s out of your hands, and you can sit back and hope they hit it off.  Don’t soil the yenta title by not acting in the best interests of your friends.
2. Dater follow-through. A few times a year, a friend or relative will tell me about a guy they know who just moved to my area.  They claim he’s wonderful, and they ask if they could pass my e-mail address along.  I give them permission, because I know and trust these people.  If they say a guy is nice, he’s nice.  Nine times out of ten, the dude never e-mails, which is odd because I’d actually give him a chance.  A blind date can result in one of four outcomes: It’s either great and you met your next significant other, the sparks aren’t there but you become friends, the sparks aren’t there and you never speak again, or it’s so bad that you have a hilarious story to tell your friends afterward.  What would I have to lose?  So I’m surprised that these guys don’t take their friends and relatives up on the offer of a set-up.

Good yentas are everywhere.  Know how to be one, or know how to get one to help you.  And when they tell you to ask someone out, listen.  It worked for my parents!


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