Most people recommend that when you’re on a first date, keep the conversation light and avoid controversial topics. No sex, no religion, no politics. I disagree.
Sure, start off with the usual pleasantries — where you work, hobbies, how many siblings you have, where your family is from. But don’t be shy about things like the upcoming presidential election, your thoughts on adultery, and other taboo subjects. If you’re looking to find someone to be in a serious relationship with, the purpose of dating is to find out if you can put up with them for a long time. Disagreeing about fundamental things lessens your chance of a successful relationship.
You can pick out juicy bits of info if you read a bit between the lines of what your date says. You won’t glean much from “I like to go hiking” other than the fact that the person is relatively active and likes nature. Who doesn’t? Try some meatier material and see what they say.
On the election: “Clinton never would have been a good president. Women are too emotional to be in charge.” (red flag!)
On the environment: “Yeah, global warming is a problem, but it’s not my fault. Would you like to see pictures of my Hummer?” (ditto)
On finances: “My job pays pretty well, but I make more in Vegas. I owe my bookie a few million now, but I’ll totally make up for it the next time I play blackjack.” (run!)
See? Don’t be so polite that you spend an hour discussing the weather. Really try to get to know this person on a deeper level. If they say things that disturb you, at least you know for sure that you’re not up for a second date.
[…] aren’t close to getting married right now? I’ve mentioned before how I’m a fan of talking about controversial stuff, even on a first date, as a way of really getting to know a person. You don’t need to tell […]