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Archive for July, 2008

Hey, party people. Is there a topic I’ve not yet addressed in this blog that you’d like to see? Have you recently experienced such unbelievable mindfuckery that it would be a crime not to (somewhat anonymously) tell the world? Have you finally found The One and want to brag about it? Have you read an article you’d like to share?

E-mail your questions, stories, and poorly-written haikus to comehereoften1@gmail.com.

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Ben Stein’s Lessons in Love, By Way of Economics.  A good read.  Can’t hurt to learn about both love and investing at the same time, right?

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A quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe is apparently quite a popular away message:

A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love,
listens but doesn’t believe,
and leaves before she is left.

No offense to the late leading lady, but here’s what I think:

WRONG

Was that clear enough? Good. I didn’t want to have to break out the blinky text.

So why is that quote so pointless? It teaches people, women in particular, that it’s better to get through life unhurt than get dumped a few times and learn. It’s also apparently better to be an emotionless robot that avoids showing vulnerability. Ladies? Guys don’t dig that.

You don’t find the love of your life by sifting through piles of men and treating them like furniture. You need to get your heart bruised a bit. You need to experience disappointment and sadness and anger. You can’t treat yourself like helicopter parents treat the little league team, because in real life, not everyone gets a trophy. Not everyone finds an amazing boyfriend or girlfriend in high school and marries them and lives happily ever after. The majority of us don’t.

Instead, we date a bunch of people who are completely wrong for us, and then we learn to stop doing that. And then we find someone great. You will never reach this point if you assume people are just going to hurt you without bothering to get to know them first.

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What do you want?

A friend of mine was recently updating me on the whereabouts of a guy she’s had a crush on for awhile.  Bad timing ensued and he’s dating someone else, but she still wonders what could have been.  I asked, do you really like him that much?  She answered that she probably liked more the idea of him: Of a boyfriend, any boyfriend.

Bingo.

You get a crush on someone and suddenly they can do no wrong.  They’re not immature, they’re young at heart!  They’re not spoiled, they just have good taste!  They’re not a total ho-bag, they just haven’t met the right person yet!  (And, of course, the right person is you — they’ve been waiting their whole life to meet the one who’ll make them stop sleeping around!)

And it’s not just crushes we pine for in this manner.  It’s often exes who are remembered favorably as well.  Sure you had a lot of laughs, but remember that time she threw a ceramic vase at your head?  Or that time he cheated on you and was only upset because he got caught?  Come on, these issues don’t go away.

It’s fun to have a crush.  It gives you something to daydream about, something to dress up for if you’re going to see them that day.  But don’t make them out to be someone they’re not.  Better to find a person who really has the qualities you’re looking for — and actually likes you back.

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