Archive for the ‘Pet Peeves’ Category

If there’s one thing I hate more than all the other things I hate (including goat cheese, dirty snow, and control-top pantyhose), it’s flakiness. Listen, I don’t always show up on time to stuff. I don’t own a car and I’m at the mercy of the whims of public transit. I’m not perfect, either. And there are times when it’s acceptable to flake (like when you get an Evite to some 200-person birthday party at some bar and then the weather sucks so you decide to stay home — odds are no one will miss you). But don’t flake when you’re invited to a dinner party, for example, or you’ve set up a date. When your absence will create a problem, you must give notice if you have to cancel. Period.

L, I hope you don’t mind me telling your story. She and I were talking at a party when, out of nowhere, a pleasant and good-looking fellow introduced himself to us. Sensing he had eyes for L, I did my wingwomanly duty and made up some excuse to back out of the conversation. They talked, they exchanged numbers. After some more texting they both agreed to meet up for lunch over a weekend. They hadn’t set a day, time, or place, so L called on Friday and left a voicemail.

She never heard back from the guy.

Anyway, I know L is all “whatever, his loss” about the ordeal, which is the right attitude, but I feel rage. Rage! Why? Because it is not polite to reach the age of 29 and flake like that just because something better comes along. You agreed to a specific activity (lunch) on a specific weekend, step up and pick a time, or call and politely cancel. You don’t even have to make up a reason. Just, “I’m sorry, something came up, I’m going to have to cancel.” The other person will get the hint when you don’t try to reschedule.

I don’t actually feel rage. I just think it’s stupid that with so many ways to communicate with someone, people don’t bother to cancel plans correctly. Have respect for someone else’s time. They’re setting aside a few hours to meet up with you, at the expense of hanging out with other people. Set them free if you must, but you need to let them know this.

And if you don’t, it’s bad dating karma.


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…because I will laugh so hard when you go back to being single. And it will feel good. Bwahahaha!

A girl I went to school with years ago friended me awhile back. For about four months, she had all of these status updates about how her life was now complete (Really! Complete!) because she’d met her boyfriend. He constantly wrote on her wall to say dumb shit like, “I love you, baby, you’re so great” (Gag! Isn’t that what e-mail is for?). There were photos posted constantly of the two of them out to dinner with her family. Friends wrote on her wall to express joy about what a great relationship she was in.

And then? Back to single. All photos of the guy erased. All his wall messages deleted. Listen, I’m cool with people listing themselves as in a relationship or engaged or married (all the better to stalk you with with, my dear). Part of the joy of Facebook is finding out what your old friends are up to. But for the love of all that is holy, I hate when people spew all of that sappy “I am so in LOVE and my boyfriend/girlfriend is the BEST EVER and I never knew TRUE JOY until I met them and now my life has REALLY BEGUN!” bullshit all over their Facebook pages. I’m talking about people in their mid- to late-20s, not 14-year-olds. Pathetic.

Does this post make me sound bitter? I’m not. I just don’t like when people think the only thing they have going for them is the fact that they’re dating someone. Come on, you’re so much more interesting than that! They are so many private ways in which you can communicate your slobbery love (give them a phone call!). Why does the whole world need to see it? I get the whole shout-it-from-the-rooftops thing, but…yeah. Am I alone in this? Thoughts?

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L shared with me a valid pet peeve: Sometimes, people in relationships, when attempting to set up single friends, seem to think that all pairs of single people will hit it off. That’s sort of like the assumption that all gays like each other. Not true!

When setting friends up, keep in mind the personalities of your friends. Think about whether or not they’d make a good pair. Then introduce them! Just throwing two single people together can be a recipe for awkwardness. Now, if you’re throwing a party and you’ve invited a bunch of single people and phone numbers get exchanged, awesome! But for actual set-ups (going on a double date with them, or getting them to go on a blind date), think it through.

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